a song i wrote a few years ago....

relief

disturbing reality
you fight to make the cold stay
washing your face
you taste the blood and pain

that pressure can damn
and it can kill
but you won't care
you'll still get your fill

i return to redefine
the line in the sand
and my peace of mind

you get what you want
i just leave
and your hell you flaunt

but i'll come back
and i'll ask
yes i will ask
just look to the past and tell me

did you ever find yourself relief?

finally getting back to music soon....

Not set in stone yet, but it looks like I will be drumming for a local band called Beverly Hellfire. I'm more than looking forward to it. It's been so long since i played drums. I'll be playing metal music again so it won't be anything different but that doesn't matter. I miss playing so much I don't care what genre it is right now.

I just need to play.

epiphany

this past weekend's church service could only be described as amazing. it was an eye opener. and I don't know how, but what I got from it was a realization. that my religious journey must be advanced through music. and it must happen using a nearly decade old project I've had laying dormant on numerous computers.

I have to use BLEDaesthetic to work through my issues. I have to use BLEDaesthetic to find myself. I have began wondering if this is why it never got out of my house and on a stage. I've been trying so hard to make it something I want it to be rather than what I need it to be. For the first time since the moment where I realized it was a lost cause, I feel as though it is somehow going to work. I hope it does. So now I need to find a place to record, and find interested members of a music community I have lost touch with to help me. It's still a lot of work, but no task seems daunting anymore. That's why I feel I am on the right path for the first time since I had this idea.

After a decade...

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

I have my doubts honestly. I mean the guy was able to cheat death for how long now? This isn't about my political views and the fact that I don't like Obama (which I don't). The fact is... a president that I would trust and support to the bitter end could have come out last night and said that Osama had been killed and I still would have hesitated.

When it's all said and done, it solves nothing. It means nothing. It doesn't help anything. Another person died over a conflict of who is right or wrong by our standards. And I am currently and slowly learning it's not our standards we should be concerned with. 


Today is another day.... that's the apathetic side of me talking.