such a failure

broken years piled on top of one another
ignored your role, had vices to smother
only care about the chance to get away
to this day you take every escape


someone called you mother once upon a time
and to you, leaving them behind felt just fine
did you ever even try to be what they really needed?
your goal was to enjoy your life and you succeeded

can't say a prayer...
for such a failure...
can't say a prayer...
for such a failure



a man left with no choice but to work most of everyday
and children left wondering is every family this way?
now they've grown and thanks to you they don't know how to feel
i curse you for showing her love could never be real

someone called you mother once upon a time
and to you, leaving them behind felt just fine
blame everyone around you for letting your life fall apart
God please tell me creatures like this don't have a heart


can't say a prayer...
for a such a failure....
can't say a prayer....
for such a failure....

how can they forgive and forget
when you remind them everyday how much you didn't care?
you drink, you fall, you only live to kill yourself
and you had the nerve to think you could repair

can't say a prayer....
for such a failure...
won't say a prayer....
for such a failure....


in the end i pity you for ruining your relationship with anyone that ever got close to you. i hope you carry shame like a burden. i hope you have remorse for the childhoods you ruined so you could live without a worry. i'll still hope God shows mercy. And I'll still say prayers that you turn around. But I can't help but think, they'll all be wasted.

Take Me

I lead those days to the edge of the cliff
Sent them over and waited for the lift
I knew that part of me had to die
No garauntee I'd be given to fly


what the hell had i been waiting for?
the brightest sign? words like "I am with you"?
why couldn't I fight my own mind?
a devil smiling, hiding the truth


take me O Lord
I'll keep waiting until you show me what I am to be
take me O Lord
as your new servant I am done contemplating, I swear I am waiting


Just show me where I have to go...


the tears I shed fall from my wasted apathy
the blood I've lost, well spent, for my belief
now i declare I see, I am free
CHRIST YOU'VE PROVEN YOU'RE THE BEST THING FOR ME


lie broken, will stolen,
i was drowning, always drowning,
awoken, love spoken
I have risen, from my own prison


and now I walk, full of comfort and peace
the devil in me, won't stop until I decease
he will try to take everything You have gave
I will fight for you and me and all of us


Lord I've only one request
GIVE ME THY BLADE

forgotten

everyday i keep looking
for a peace of mind
and each day it keeps getting
harder to find


though I look for you
i feel not an ounce of progress gained
is there something exact
i need to attain?


could this be 
a hopeless venture?
could I be
another empty creature?
could You be
another security to lose?
could You be
a simple nothing to use?


show me something
just say anything
this feeling is attacking me
too often
show me anything
just say something
prove to me that
i'm not forgotten


another day felt wasted
they all look so assured
and here i sit feeling so lost
i want to be cured
what do i have to do?
repent? confess? lay it all down on the line?
haven't I done that enough?
I've left things to faith so many times

could this be 

a hopeless venture?

could I be

another empty creature?

could You be

another security to lose?

could You be

a simple nothing to use?

____________________________________________________________

had to stop. my daughter came over to the computer and typed all this....

fbbbbnbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

and then told me it says "I love daddy". that'll be all from me today.