I have trouble accepting the fact my daughter won't stop growing. A lot of the time when I am sifting through product from a truck I have to move diapers. And on those boxes of diapers I see babies and wish my daughter was still that small. Still that innocent. Still barely vocal. Still my precious little child that wants nothing more than to be held by her mother or father every minute of every day.
For three years of age, she is already trying pretty hard to be independent. About the only time I feel she ever truly needs me is when she has been hurt in some way. Either emotional or physical. The emotional hurt usually comes from me or her mother because she has been scolded for something she should not be doing. It also comes from temper tantrums over not getting what she wants. She is a toddler after all. But with either hurt she always accepts comfort. Always accepts a hug and being held. Even if I am the one that has yelled at her for doing something, she will still accept comfort from me. As selfish as it sounds, I feel better about scolding her when she lets me comfort her soon after. It helps me feel that she isn't the teen she will one day become. The child that "hates" you for a day or two or three after not getting their way. I pray, day in and day out, that I am given the tools to prevent her from becoming that kind of monster. But in these times, I fear it's next to impossible.
I love her more than I've ever loved anything. I am happy to have given up everything my life was for her. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. She is all I ever care to live for anymore. She is one "idol" I will always have trouble putting second to God.
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